I was online looking for cheap father’s day gifts and decided half way through my search that I would stick with my usual gift of nothing. I think my dad appreciates the simplicity of my gift giving. Okay, I’m not a great son, but I do have other admirable qualities. I just like to keep them hidden.
If you are a gift giver, Check this out.
It’s a combo gift for dad, funny beer coolie and engraved pocket knife. Best gift ever if your dad likes to get drunk and stab people.
Next year you can get him a tie. Just make sure it’s extra long so that he can hang himself in prison. This amazing gift got me thinking. What if your father actually is an asshole. What do you get that guy for father’s day? A selfie stick might be a thoughtful gift. If dad is a bit of a dick then he probably has no friends or visitors. He can take his own picture all by his pathetic self on father’s day.
Here’s a couple more crappy gifts for bad dad.
What Would Jesus Do?
Talk about an awkward father’s day. The Jesus and God relationship has got to be a little strained. What do you get a father that had you crucified? Plus, it’s God. The guy already has everything.
Buying for his stepfather Joseph would be a hell of a lot easier. He just has to tell him that it’s not father’s day. That Joseph guy will believe anything. Just ask the “virgin” Mary.
Maybe Jesus could get God the father some new eye glasses. I think he needs a better look at what his earthly representatives are up to down here. It’s not pretty.
Anyway, if you are not an asshole, happy father’s day.