I need a career change. I think I might become a rapper. I know it’s tough to make it as a middle class white rapper but I like a challenge. M&M and Vanilla Ice made it. Why not me?
I’ll need a name. M&M already took the best candy name. Maybe I could call myself Skittles or Smarties or just plain “Candy Wrapper” and play cover tunes.
Sticking with with the food theme, I could call myself Cracker.
Cracker the white rapper, it’s got a nice ring to it.
I could start my tour in Harlem.
I can just visualize a pumped up crowd of my fans in Harlem chanting, Cracker, Cracker, we want Cracker.
What could possibly go wrong?
I would have my own style. Part “Sinatra crooner” and part “ rapper”…..
“Regrets, I’ve had a few….. but not for shootin that cop or slappin my bitch……but then again, too few to mention….cops won’t catch me selling my grass, catch me if you can, I bust a cap in yo ass…….I did it my way.”
Thank you Harlem. I am Cracker. Good night everyone. Drive safely.