I like insects. Except for Spiders, Bed Bugs,Crickets, Earwigs Cockroaches and Millipedes . I also have a special hate on for flying insects that sting. Now that I think about it, I guess I don’t like insects very much at all.
Wasps and hornets are the worst. Like single mothers and the homeless, they don’t contribute to society and are always looking for a hand out. If we don’t give it to them, they get all pissed off, grab their buddies and come back to sting the shit out of us.
I’ll be honest. Flying insects scare me. If an ant or cockroach was chasing me I could probably outrun it…… if I was sober, but those flying bastards are fast and they work well as a team. If you kill a wasp, or if they need help, they send out a chemical signal and the rest of the colony will be there lickity split to sting your sorry ass. You can zig and zag all you want. They don’t care, they just keep on chasing and stinging until you are miles away from your food. Then they fly back and eat it. True story, ask any scientist.
The worker wasps usually live from sometime in June until the weather gets cold. If you see a wasp in January, run like hell. He’s tough as nails and refuses to die. He’s also in a bad mood because all of his buddies are dead. If that wasp gets a hold of you, he’s gonna kick your ass. Run my friend, run.
House flies are like the drunks of the insect world. You can tolerate them for a few minutes, but after that you just want to kill them. They just never stop. Blah, blah, blah, buzz, buzz, buzz…… shut the fuck up and go away! Flies are such idiots, they live for about 25 days and spend most of that time eating shit. What a waste! If I had 25 days to live I would make it count by spending all of my time helping others and making the world a better place.
Just kidding, I’d be one of the drunks.
Bees are okay. At least they have a purpose in life. Without Bees the world’s food system would probably fall apart. Bees not only pollinate flowers, but vegetable plants as well.
If bees ever disappeared then so would most vegetables. We would be forced to survive on Big Macs and Whoppers…… with no pickles or lettuce of course.
Bees are smart too, I just watched a video about them. In Africa, a single scout hornet locates beehives and sends a pheromone scent signal back to his buddies at hornet central. They get the message and head right over to do some serious bee killing.
The bees were getting sick and tired of that shit and developed a system to stop it from happening. They surround the large hornet, and in a coordinated attack, jump him and start vibrating together to create friction which causes the hornets body temperature to rise. The hornet can only withstand a temperature of 115 degrees but the bees can survive up to 117. The hornet gets fried and the bees high five each other and go about their business. They do it so quickly that the hornet doesn’t have a chance to send the signal. The bees don’t even waste time stinging the poor bastard. Why waste a good stinger when the newly developed microwave system works so well?
I like ants too, those boys are strong. An ant can carry objects that are fifty times their own weight. Wow, I’m inspired.
“Out of the way juicers…… screw the six packs and biceps ladies, I’m built like an ant.” Yes, definitely, that’s what I’ll say the next time I’m at the gym. It should work out pretty well…… unless one of the juicers goes on a roid rage and crushes my head, thorax and abdomen
Scientists estimate that ants appeared on earth over 130 million years ago. It is also estimated that there are 1.5 million ants on the planet for every human being. The total biomass of all the ants is roughly equal to that of humans. Those guys are always digging too. I think that someday the world will just collapse like one of those garment factories in Bangladesh. The earth will just break into pieces and send us flying into space hanging on to rocks for dear life. Those ants, they’re going to wreck the planet with their damn work ethic.
When I was a kid one of the first horror movies that I ever saw was about giant mutant ants that were attacking the earth. The human army was shooting and bombing the shit out of them but they just kept on coming. I can’t remember how it ends but we must have stopped them somehow, because we’re still here, right.
Anyway my point is that ants are awesome, but if they were giants, humans would be screwed.
As a matter of fact. If the insects ever decided to form a coalition and fight together, I think they just might kick some human ass.
But until that time, they can just buzz off, eat shit and die.