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Group Meditation And Farting



I like to meditate by myself.  I’ve tried the group meditations but for some reason I always seem to have gas on those days.  It’s not fair to the rest of the group and it puts undue pressure on me.  I just can’t seem to get all Zen like and in the moment when I’m worried about ripping a big nasty one.

Home Meditation – Breathe in, breathe out.  Very peaceful.

Group Meditation – Breathe in, breathe out, don’t fart, please don’t fart,hold it, hold it…..damn it!  Very stressful.

I don’t know what it is with me, I just have such rotten timing with my farts.  I can go all day without even thinking about farting but I always seem to let one go right before someone comes over to say, “hi.”  

It’s an uncomfortable situation.  We both know what happened.  It’s just not possible to ignore the foul odour of salami and ass that hangs like a cloud around me.  Should it be mentioned before any meaningful conversation begins?  Yes, I think so.  Sometimes I try to lighten up the moment by smiling in a very charming way and saying something like “oops, my bad.”  It doesn’t make a difference though, first impressions mean a lot and the encounters end quickly.

This blog is starting to make me realize why I don’t have a lot of friends.  And no, it’s not the gas problem.

It’s the fact that I set out to write a blog on meditation and it turned into a fartfest.  I’m so fucking shallow and childish, that’s my problem.  


Farts are pretty cool though.  They just never get old in my world and I think maybe some other shallow people can relate.  A fart in the bathtub is always interesting.  You get to enjoy three senses.  Seeing the bubbles, hearing the altered sound of the muted fart and last but not least smelling that which you have created.  You wouldn’t think you could smell a water filtered fart, but you can. It just smells a little cleaner, if that’s possible.  

And in conclusion.  Meditation is an excellent way to start the day.


Please leave comments and ideas below.  

Thanks, Don

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