My Favorite Killer

I watch a lot of documentaries and I think that I have become obsessed with murder.  Any kind of murder will do. Serial, mass, stabbers, shooters, even boring hospital smotherers fascinate me.  I would never say that I am a fan of murder because some might find that to be unacceptable and offensive.

Let me just say that I am intrigued by killers and how their minds work.Jack The Ripper

I also watch a lot of sports, music videos  and fictional movies.  My dilemma is this. I have favourite hockey players, musicians and actors.  Should I have a favorite killer?

There are different kinds of killers but If I had to pick a favorite, it would have to be serial killers.

Serial Killers are defined as someone who kills three or more people in a certain period of time.  Killing is not an impulse action for them.  They build up to it and once they start they just can’t stop.  It’s kind of like non killer types with a bag of chips.  Bet you can’t eat just one.  It’s like me going out for a beer, once I have a taste, I just keep killing….oops…. I mean drinking.     keg of beer

Serial Killers and New Age Thinkers have a lot in common, they tend to follow the same motivational gurus and they both use the following quotes as inspiration:

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” –  Anthony Robbins and Jeff Dahmer

“If you’re going to dream, dream big.” –  Ted Bundy and Deepak Chopra

 “If you want to be successful, it’s just this simple.  Know what you are doing.  Love what you are doing.  And believe in what you are doing.” – Will Rogers and Jack The Ripper  

Creative visualization also gets them off.  What serial killers morning is complete without a  creative visualization session that includes torturing, killing and eating another person?  How else is a guy supposed to relax and ease into the day?  (My apologies to Napoleon Hill and the copycats  that followed)  I know that inspiring these guys to kill is not what you intended when you wrote the motivational books, but let’s face it, you put it out there and psychopaths can read.  

Who Is My Favorite:

So many voices (oops, I mean choices) in my head.

Jack The Ripper has the best handle but I can’t pick guy that was never actually caught and identified.

Most Famous Serial Killers:

Dennis Rader

Dennis Rader(BTK – Bind Torture Kill): Killed at least ten.  Currently serving a life sentence without parole.  Rader would send letters to the police and media describing the details of his killings.   Ultimately these taunting letters would lead to his arrest in 2005 as police were eventually able to track a disk that Rader had sent from The Christ Lutheran Church in Wichita.  Old Dennis just happened to be president of the church council.

 

 

Richard Trenton Chase: This guy was an absolute wackjob.  After being released from a mental institution he killed six people in one month in the late seventies. richard chase He was known as “The Vampire of Sacramento” because after killing his victims he made blended smoothies using their corpses and soft drinks.  Sentenced to death but ended up killing himself before the execution date.

Henry Lee Lucas:  Over a twenty year period he killed at least 350 people including his own henry lee lucasmother.  Died in prison due to natural causes in 2001.

Ted Bundy:  A charming and likeable guy, Ted used to pretend that he was disabled and then proceed to kidnap and kill his female victims.  Well, that’s not the only way he killed his victims, sometimes old likeable Ted would just Ted Bundybreak into homes and stab women to death while they slept.  He murdered about thirty in total.  He was arrested in 1979 and fried in the chair ten years later.

Jeffrey Dahmer:  In a thirteen year period old Jeff managed to kill seventeen.  Not a Jeff Dahmerbig number on the serial killer scale.  The thing that makes Jeff so special is that he didn’t just kill his victims he also raped, dismembered and fucking ate their corpses.  He was arrested in 1994 and killed by another inmate while serving a life sentence.

 

Hockey:

How do you decide on an all time favorite. If it was hockey you might choose Wayne Gretzky who in twenty years inWendel Clark the NHL is the all time leader in points with 894 goals and 1963 assists for a total of 2857 points, or a great player like Wendel Clark of the Toronto Maple Leafs who didn’t score as many points (564) but had a great mustache and could also fight.  Tough choices.

Killers:

BTK killed more people than Dahmer but he never ate any of them.  Tough choices.

Decision:

I’m going with Dahmer because of his diversity as a killer.

Honourable Mention:

Chris ScarverChristopher Scarver.  He was the guy that killed Jeffrey Dahmer. Scarver qualifies himself as a serial killer because he killed Dahmer and another inmate (using a metal pipe from an exercise machine) while already serving a life term for killing another guy.  Magic number 3.  Way to go Chris, good effort.

 

Who is your favorite killer or hockey player?  Leave a comment below.

 

 

 

Hockey Addendum:

Most hockey fans agree that Wendel Clark, who only played 17 years in the NHL as opposed to Gretzky who played 20, would have passed Gretzky in points had Clark not chosen to retire.  (Sorry, it had to be said)

My apologies to Wayne Gretzky and Wendel Clark; two great hockey players who have never killed anyone. (As of June, 2014)

 

Thanks, Don

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