My Guilt Free Day

chicken and beer

As a recovering Catholic, I tend to carry around a lot of guilt.  It’s not good for my morale, and so every once in a while I take a day to do some things that would normally make me feel guilty and full of shame.

Well Ladies and Gentlemen, today’s the day.

Agenda:

 

Beer and fried chicken for breakfast while listening to Motorhead.

chicken and beer

Guilt Free Breakfast

 

Motorhead for breakfast

Motorhead cranked to eleven

 

 

Package some crap to re-gift.

re-gift

 Spank carrot.

spank carrot

Not actual size.

Mcdonalds for lunch; big mac meal, quarter pounder meal and two hot fudge sundaes. Finish eating, belch loudly and walk out leaving my garbage on the table.

Mcdonalds

Drive like an asshole all day.  Don’t even think about merging in my lane, dickheads.

road rage

 If I was a girl I would get pregnant and have an abortion today, but I’m a guy,  so I will ……. Try and get a girl pregnant using a false name.

pregnant woman

Bob’s the name, Bob Cratchet.

 

Tequila shots for dinner.

 

tequila

Annoy as many people as possible and then puke.

puke

 

Throw a plastic bottle in the ocean.

ocean

 

Pass out. 

Sweet dreams and guilt free mornings.

 

What a day.600px-Smiley.svg[1]

Leave a Reply