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Common Sayings And Phrases

politician or lawyer

Okay, enough already with the glass half full or glass half empty pessimist or optimist bullshit.  If you are filling the glass it’s half full, if you are emptying the glass it’s half empty.  Go find another little catch phrase piece of crap saying that doesn’t mean a damn thing.  This baby has been overworked and beaten to death.

glass half full

There are several of these common sayings and phrases that have passed their prime.  Like, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  Okay, but if it does kill you ….. it will make you dead.  This saying is never actually used in life or death scenarios because that would be a stupid and horrible thing to say to someone in a deadly situation.

“ Hey Dave, that bear ripping your face off sure looks mad.  But just remember, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”  See what I mean, it’s stupid, quit saying it.  bear

“An honest day’s work for an honest days pay.”  Another crock of crap made up by the man fat bossto keep the rich man rich and the poor man poor.  I prefer the saying, “work smarter, not harder.”  Why toil for the man when you can do what he does.  Create an income source from activities where you don’t have to be present. Take some chances.  Get some other sucker to do an honest days work for you.  

“The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”  Another beauty passed down from generation to generation.  I have some serious bad memories attached to this one.  I was just a little fellow, and when one of the bigger guys at school was picking on me, my mother said to me “don’t worry Donald, the bigger they are the harder they fall.”

Armed with these inspirational words from mom, I walked confidently into the worst day of my life.  My mother had neglected to give me a plan B in the event that the big fellow did not fall.  

Well, he did not fall and his supposed hard landing was never witnessed.  

The fight was on and from what I remember I did pretty well.  

Using my nose, throat and chin, I pounded his knuckles mercilessly for several minutes………..and then…. to finish him off, I crushed his knee… really, really hard with my balls.  

That big bastard never bothered me again.  I think he wanted to, but for the rest of the year I hid in a garbage can at recess.  Big stupid bastard, I sure showed him.  

Oh, and thanks again mom for that great advice.  I’ll be sure and pass that on to the next generation so that some other little kids can get the shit kicked out of them.

Please……….

Stop it with these stupid old sayings.  Except of course for the old standby, “don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.” That one still applies.  

baby

You can’t kill babies, man.  It’s the law.

Talk later, Don

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