Social Media Sites Should Be More Selective

groucho marx

I think that social media sites should be more selective about who they let in.  I am a believer in the philosophy of Groucho Marx who said,  “I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.” Ain’t it the truth Groucho.                        

Linkedin

I was thinking about signing up for Linkedin until I found out that it was a networking tool for professionals. If at some point in the future, society defines a professional as someone who  drinks beer in the morning while listening to Motorhead and Max Webster, then I’m all in.  Until that time it is simply unfair to the real professionals.  For now I will continue to network verbally from my bar stool.

Facebook

facebook

If you are old enough to use a computer and still don’t have any friends, sorry, you can’t join Facebook. Why the heck should people with friends share them with you. Facebook should be more like the bank.  If you have a lot of friends, then you qualify for more,  if you don’t have any money, sorry no loan.  Life sucks kids, get used to it .  Nobody said it was going to be easy.

The realization that you are a loser is the first step in accepting that fact and moving on with your pathetic life.

Pinterest

 Ugly people have many advantages.

Ugly people have many advantages.

Pinterest is all about images.  If you’re ugly, you can’t join.  If you even hang out with ugly people, you can’t join.  It’s as simple as that.

Who wants to see images of ugly people?

And please, before you start feeling sorry for them, think about the advantages of being ugly and having no friends. The uglies have no need to buy nice clothes or worry about personal hygiene. Why would you need to worry about clothes and smelling good if you spend most of your time in basements, crying and alone? This alone saves ugly people a ton of money.

Turning the bitter lemon into lemonade folks, that’s what I do.  Thank You.

Google +

Nobody even knows or cares what Google plus is supposed to be. It seems to be a social media hangout for gigantic losers. I am accepted there and have a large following.

Conclusion

I have an incredible grasp and understanding of social media.

And

Social media is not a tool that should be available to ugly drunken losers with no money and no friends.

And

This same social media philosophy should apply to shopping.  I do all mine at Walmart, I would never even think about setting foot in Winners.

Thanks for your time, please leave ideas or comments below,  Don

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