It seems that the Russians want to get their citizens in shape. They have installed an electronic kiosk at the Moscow subway station that allows people to do 30 squats and if they are successful, they can ride for free. Pretty good idea if you ask me. Not many people are going to do squats for no reason but with the incentive of a free ride they will. It’s a win win situation, the government gets the people in shape, and the people save money.
I started thinking about what we could do here in North America to get the public in shape and I think we should take it a little further. Here’s my idea. Crosswalks at intersections flash the time that you have to cross before the light changes. It’s too long, 21 seconds to cross the street is ridiculous. I say, cut it down to 8 seconds. That’ll get the people in shape. Pick up the pace or get hit by a truck The incentive would be, life itself. If you can’t get across in 8 seconds it’s lights out.
Talk about a win win situation. Combination get the public in shape and thin the herd. Let the Russians try that. We’ll show em how to get in shape North American Style. The more I think about it the more it makes sense. What if there’s another war, do we really want the commies to be in better shape than us? I don’t think so.
I know what you’re thinking. What about the children, pregnant women and the less fortunate? Well I’m way ahead of you, we would provide disability cards allowing up to 13 or 14 seconds to get across. Let it be known that the Russians absolutely do not make any exceptions on their Moscow subway squat program. If we implement my new physical fitness program, not only will we be in better shape than the Russians, we will continue to be a more compassionate and caring society.