Give your innards some exercise by chugging beer every day. It’s healthy and fun. The beer workout that will really get your liver pumping is available to all. But remember, just like exercise for the outer body, you have to commit. Make your inner fitness a daily habit.
One day a week just ain’t gonna cut it. It’s a life long commitment. Just on weekends won’t do you much good either. I recommend the beer workout 7 days a week. You don’t have to do 24 reps every day, but stay consistent. Keep working the program and you will see results. If your liver could talk, it would totally thank you.
They’re your organs, use them, make them work for a living. Just because you can’t see them, it doesn’t mean that they don’t need exercise. Use beer (or Jack Daniels if you prefer) to get your insides into shape. “Use em, or lose em” is the saying that comes to mind. Don’t worry about any repercussions, they are built to last and need the work.
Why do some muscles get all the press when it comes to exercise? Holy Christ, am I ever tired of hearing about triceps, biceps, glutes and fucking abs. What about your liver, kidney and large intestine. They need a workout too. Wake up, people. Exercise your innards.
Alcohol reacts in a positive way once swallowed. It’s kind of like Popeye and spinach. Beer makes your organs and immune system stronger. Unfortunately my dog ate the report, but trust me, I read it and the results were all good.
Sure, alcohol is probably the most important exercise tool in my program, and yes, of course, it’s going to get your organs all fired up and working overtime. That’s a good thing. But don’t concentrate on the organs only. You’ve got to add some solid stuff and chemicals to get those intestines and immune system working too.
This is crucial. Do you see bodybuilders just doing leg workouts every goddamn day? No I don’t think so. Spread the love and add additional tools to your inner body workout.
Add some gigantic meatball sandwiches, greasy cheeseburgers, pizza and french fries to your routine. You’re also going to want to add a lot of packaged foods with chemicals that you can’t pronounce. Read the fucking labels, that’s what they’re for. If you see any colored die ingredients or tons of added sugar products, get it and eat it now. Your innards will be working overtime almost immediately. No pain, no gain. No guts, no glory. Work that immune system, c’mon one more cheeseburger. You can do it. You’ll be happy later.
It’s pretty obvious that the beer workout is good for your body but we still need the old warning label to keep “the man” happy.
But wait, there’s more……
Are you looking for a cleanse that really works? I’m talking complete, all systems flush here. Try the Don Rogers Balls and Beer Cleanse. Forget about that bullshit lemon cleanse. This one’s for real.
The Balls and Beer Cleanse (3 Day Version)
If you are healthy and smart. You will want to try out this cleanse in addition to The Beer Workout. It will add additional health benefits and complete you as a person. Your legacy will show a person that made wise decisions and never gave up.
Day 1: Eat 10 large, greasy meatballs for breakfast, lunch and dinner. You should already be drinking 17 to 24 beers per day. For the cleanse to work you’ll have to add some draft. Have your usual beers at home and add two to four pints at the local pub. Avoid bowel movements and limit yourself to 3 pisses.
Day 2: Add 4 balls per meal. (that’s a total of 14 for the math challenged.) Drink the usual allotment of beer and add a couple pints of warm Guinness.
As per the instructions on day 1, avoid having a dump. You’re not going to want to fart either. Why take the chance of a brown shout or shart that will end the effectiveness of the cleanse.
Near the end of day 2, order Chinese, but don’t eat it. Leave it out overnight on the counter. Putting it in the fridge will reduce the massive cleanse that’s in store for you on day 3.
Day 3: This is the day where all of your hard work and effort will pay off with the most gigantic cleansing of your insides ever.
- Get up early. By this time you will be just about ready to explode, but hold it.
- Have a couple of quick morning beers (lager or ale,) your choice.
- Eat the egg foo young that you left out last night.
- Smoke a big, fat, stale cigar.
- Grab a bucket, run to the crapper and have at er from both ends.
This is truly a complete cleanse, nothing will be left in your body except a couple of essential organs, some corn, and a peanut.
I discovered this cleanse one weekend by accident. I hope it works for you.
Here’s what people had to say about The Don Rogers, Balls and Beer Cleanse
Jim Jihad:(Spokesperson for the religion of peace.)
D.J. Trump:(Son of a rich guy.)
Virgin Mary: (Mother of The Baby Jesus)
Wow, great stuff. I was a little worried that the explosive flush would rupture my hymen, but no, still good as new. Whew, close call. God would have been pretty pissed.
Don, I will highly recommend your cleanse to other fictional characters.
There you have it folks. Give the beer workout a shot (or two,) and get your liver pumping. For additional health benefits, take it to the next level by adding the balls and beer cleanse.
Have a great day, Don