The Islamic State

mid east map

Never a dull moment and no time to spare if you are a member of ISIS these days. What with praying 5 times a day, beheading and crucifying infidels, there just doesn’t seem to be a minute left in the day. How do they ever fit in quality time with the family?  Who the heck is going to make sure the wife and daughters are all covered up when they go out to a stoning?  muslam woman

If you have never heard of ISIS, please allow me to introduce these fine fellows to you.

Who are they?

ISIS stands for the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria.  They are also known as ISIL. But wait, now they want to be known only as Islamic State. Who do the think they are, Prince?

ISIS is a group of Sunni Muslims that emerged about ten years ago in Iraq.  They were an affiliate group of Al Qaeda that specialized in suicide bombings. Today, they make Al Qaeda look like a bunch of sissy choirboys.  

These dudes are mean and angry and I think I know why.  For some reason they are not allowed to eat baconbacon.  They smell it cooking but can’t have any.  I’d be mad too.  Not mad enough to chop some poor guys head off though. I was a vegetarian for 3 years,(the ex wife’s idea) and sure, I was a little irritable, but not once did I chop off a head or crucify anyone.

I guess everybody handles stress differently.  Anyway……

While civil war was going on in Syria, they decided to get all the other Sunnis worked up, create some shit and wreak havoc on the Shiite majority.  Their little party just keeps getting bigger and bigger.  Since 2011 they have taken over oil fields as well as cities and territory in Syria and Iraq.  Muslims from all over the world are coming to join the fight and it doesn’t look like these guys are going away anytime soon.

What do they want?

They want an Islamic State that stretches from Turkey (the country) through Syria to Egypt.  This area includes Lebanon, Israel, the Palestinian Territories and Jordan.  Wow!!  Good luck with that boys, not gonna happen.

mid east map

Their leader ABU BAKR al-BAGhdadi has set himself up as a ruler “By order of God.” (Big Surprise There…. Not.)  ABU considers himself the new “Caliph-at-Large” which means that he is the commander of the faithful and successor of the Prophet Mohammed.  This is the first time in 90 years that there has been an official global Islamic caliphate.  This basically means that the Islamic State does not recognize countries or borders.  They also claim absolute authority over all Muslim lands and it is the duty of every Muslim to pledge allegiance to the new caliph (ABU).  Failure to pledge allegiance will brand you as apostates and you can be killed.

This whole shitty scenario just doesn’t seem possible in the 21st century, but it’s real and it’s growing and it’s not going away by itself.


There will be bombs.      bomber



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