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The Toronto Maple Leafs – Rebuilding Since 1967

The Toronto Maple Leafs

It was a beautiful year for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Unfortunately, the year was 1967. It’s been mostly disappointment and heartache ever since. It’s at the point now where you need a calculator to figure out how many years it’s been since they hoisted that cup known as Stanley.The Stanley Cup,

Oh well, rebuilding takes time, I guess. Maybe this is the year we go all the way. That’s a joke, son.

As it turns out, 1967 was a pretty good year to win. Expansion from the original six happened in 68 and some would argue that adding teams has spoiled and diluted the sport. Expansion in the NHL is similar to immigration from third world countries. It changed everything, and not for the better.

Note: I don’t really think that the last statement is true in any way, shape or form. I just put it in to piss off the do-gooders. Ethnic diversity is a good thing. We have tasted spice and we can never go back to boiled potatoes and bland overcooked beef. Just trying to get the lefties and liberals going, my apologies for this brief interruption. I love offending people, it’s kind of a hobby.

I wonder how many Leaf fans will have a heart attack if they ever do win. That would be a good story. Waiting all these years and then dying because of it. Life is funny that way. Not laugh out loud funny but strange funny if you know what I mean.

I hope it’s not me that bites the big one when they win. I’m not getting any younger, that’s for sure. True for all of us, I guess. If you’re not getting older then you probably don’t care about the Leafs. Actually, you’d be dead. It’s a fact that dead people don’t follow sports. They don’t do much of anything really. Dead people bore me.

Enough about dead people. Let’s get back to hockey.

If you want to be around to see a Leaf kissing that cup, you’ve got to hang on. Start looking after yourselves. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and start a mild fitness program. It’s been such a long wait already, what’s another few years? Stay in shape and don’t die on us. We need to be in this for the long haul.

If it makes you feel any better, and it won’t. The Toronto Maple Leafs are not even the worst team at winning championships.

Eight major league baseball teams have never won a championship……ever! That’s gotta hurt. Poor Milwaukee Brewers, shitty name, shitty team, shitty town and worst of all shitty beer. Old Milwaukee Beer. A couple cans of that “Old Milwaukee,” and you’d better be close to a crapper. That’s been my experience anyway. Milwaukee is in a league of baseball losers with San Diego, Washington, Seattle, Tampa Bay, Colorado, Texas and Houston. At least Toronto kicked ass in 67. These dudes never win.

If you look at the NFL, Houston is on that list of non winners again, along with Cleveland, Jacksonville and Detroit. It’s starting to look like the phrase “Everything’s bigger in Texas,” includes losing streaks. And poor Detroit. The Lions never win. The Red Wings are annoying. The city is bankrupt and the people smell funny. At least they’ve got the auto industry……oh, wait a second, they lost that too.

And in Soccer……who gives a shit.     Go Leafs Go.

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