What is a Muse?

muses

The answer to “What is a Muse?” would be different today than if somebody were to ask that question  five or six hundred years ago.  Back then a Muse was a person, especially a woman – who was a source of artistic inspiration.

A modern Muse could be anything that gives you inspiration, it doesn’t have to be a woman or even a person – it can be a thing.  

This is fantastic news for us Muse seekers.

History Of The Muse

muses

In greek mythology, the Muses were the 9 daughters of the Greek God Zeus and his significant other Mnemosyne.  The daughters names were, Calliope, Clio, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene, Polyhymnia, Terpsichore, Thalia and Urania.  

Holy crap!  What a mouthful – can you imagine poor Zeus trying to call that brood in for dinner?

Okay, let’s talk about Zeus for a minute.  We’ll get back to the muse thing later.  

I know the guy was a God and everything but he would have to be pulling in some pretty serious coin to support the lifestyle of a wife and nine goddesses.  greek money

The house itself would have to be gigantic.  At least ten bedrooms and an equal number of bathrooms. (It’s my understanding that Goddesses won’t share.)  Plus a couple of extra bedrooms for his God buddies, Apollo and Artemis when they came over to watch wrestling, shoot some arrows and drink nectar.  

These get togethers were kind of like our Sunday afternoon football parties but back then they did it on Tuesday evening.  Weird, I know.

Twelve bedrooms with a man cave, plus garage space for all his chariots………and at the top of Mount Olympus! mt olympusThat’s crazy money.   

I’ll bet Zeus dreaded birthdays, having to buy a new and expensive chariot for each daughter on their sixteenth. That would have to put a dent in the mighty ones bank account.greek chariots

This just in!!!……….More money problems for Zeus.

According to Greek Mythology, Zeus was married two times before he even met Mnemosyne. Metis and Themis were their names and I’m thinking that these spurned goddesses might be costing Zeus a little monthly coin.  You never know what goes on behind closed doors.  Perhaps being a God isn’t all fun and games.   

Maybe Zeus was all cranky about his money problems or maybe he was just pissed off about being raised by a goat, I don’t know. All I know is that he was a real dickhead to us humans back then.  

Do you remember when he wouldn’t let us to have fire?  Ridiculous, how were we supposed to heat our soup, light the barbeque, or entertain our buddies with a blue Angel? (a.k.a. A blue flame.)

blue flame

What a prick!!

If it wasn’t for the kindness of Prometheus stealing a thunderbolt from Zeus and giving it to mankind to make fire, we might be eating cold meals and bushes to this day.

Thanks Prometheus, We appreciate your generosity.  

Old Zeus didn’t appreciate it very much though.  He got all pissed off at Prometheus and chained prometheushim to a rock for a thousand years.  A thousand years!!  Zeus was so mad that he even sent an eagle to munch out on poor, chained to a damn rock, Prometheus’ liver.  

A thousand years chained to a rock.  That would be almost as bad as listening to the entire Michael Buble or Celine Dion collection while whistling and sitting on a large butt plug.  It would be almost as bad as sitting through an entire Carrot Top “comedy show.”  Wow, a thousand years chained to a rock, it’s unimaginable.    

Poor Prometheus would still be chained to a rock if it wasn’t for a rescue from Hercules.

Anyway I think my point is, that his finances were making Zeus a very bitter God, and back in those days a God was not encouraged to talk about his feelings. I think that if all of this was happening today we would have the ability to get the big guy some counselling, you know, make him realize that he was acting like such a prick because of his inner turmoil regarding finances and relationships, but whatever, the past is the past.   

I’m not even really sure what Greek Gods did for money.   They were probably the bankers and brokers of their time.  You know what I mean, the kingdom loses money, time for a bonus.   

Anyway, back to “What is a Muse?”

I want a muse because I’m lazy.  I was hoping I could find one to not only inspire me but also to do the leg work.  My muse could then step aside and let me take the glory.  

It doesn’t look like that’s about to happen though.

According to Stephen King.  “There is a muse, but he’s not going to come fluttering down into your writing room and scatter creative fairy-dust all over your typewriter or computer station.  He lives in the ground.  He’s a basement guy.  You have to descend to his level, and once you get down there you have to furnish an apartment for him to live in.  You have to do all the grunt labor, in other words, while the muse sits and smokes cigars and admires his bowling trophies and pretends to ignore you.” – Stephen King, On Writing:  A memoir of the Craft

Damn you, Stephen King for bursting my bubble.  I wanted inspiration, not perspiration.

It hardly seems fair.

John Lennon had Yoko Ono, Picasso had Jacqueline Roque and Pygmalion had Galatea.  Why can’t I have a muse.  Damn you, life!!

Fuck It!  

If a muse is inspiration, can mine be beer.  Sometimes a nice cold beer causes my creativity to rise. I need inspiration for my creative work and it can’t be a person.  

The more I think about it, my muse needs to be liquid.  People get on my nerves. I blame them for things. I don’t give them credit. I think I’d go crazy if Yoko Ono was hanging around all the time. And to be honest, nobody knows for sure if Yoko was actually John Lennons muse. Maybe she just brought the beer.

Oh well, so I don’t have a muse, big deal, it could be worse.  At least I’m not chained to a rock.

Anyway, used as a verb, to muse is to consider something thoughtfully,

And……

After some thoughtful verb musing I will now sign off and do some liquid noun musing.

beer

 I am both thirsty and inspired.

Good Night,

Don    

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