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Why Do People Celebrate Halloween?

halloween

The origin of holidays is always interesting to me and since it’s coming up pretty soon you might also be wondering.  Why do people celebrate Halloween?

pumpkin

Well for starters, Halloween is a 6 billion dollar industry, second only to Christmas as a retail money maker. Like most holidays, it’s great for the economy. Holidays are not about witches and pumpkins or babies born in barns. They are about the money and that’s okay with me.witch

Hey, talking about babies………

Halloween is also the only time of the year where the saying, “It’s as easy as taking candy from a baby,” becomes a parents daily reality.  

Some people think that Halloween is for the benefit of children but I don’t agree.  Why should it always be about them? I think that turning the holiday focus away from the kids and onto us adults should be a priority.  The candy is to shut them up for a while so that we can do fun adult stuff, like dress up sleazy and drink alcohol.  It’s the same idea as Christmas.  Buy the little rugrats some toys to keep them happy so that we can booze it up and eat turkey.  (Turkey the bird, not the country – I always clarify because, as you know, some people are amazingly stupid.)

A Brief History Of Halloweenskeleton

Halloween is short for All Hallows’ Evening.  It’s origins go back to an ancient Celtic festival known as Samhain which was celebrated by the Gaels at the end of the harvest season to prepare themselves for the winter.  It was also a Pagan belief that on the evening of October 31, the worlds of the living and the dead overlapped and the dead would come back to destroy crops and cause sickness in the living.  Similar to today’s society when the kids move home after college.  

Trick-or-treating may have originated from the medieval practice called “Souling,” where beggars would go door to door offering prayers for the dead in exchange for food.  The idea of trick-or-treating is also known as extortion in grown up land and is thought to be excellent training for wall street types and other criminals.  

The idea of letting your kids participate in this activity of threatening homeowners is kind of crazy when you think about it.  It reminds me of the Spanish Inquisition when folks were forced to convert or die.  Extortion without the candy is what that was, a no win situation for the unbeliever.

Conclusion:

When I was a kid, Halloween was all about the candy.  It was a magical night of free sugar followed by seemingly endless days of parent sanctioned candy eating.  As an adult, nothing compares to the excitement of a free bag of candy. I think that’s why so many people are on the Prozac.  

Would it be so hard for the government to give us a free pub crawl once a year?

real apple

Where I grew up, some do gooders used to give out apples instead of candy for Halloween.  These houses were to be avoided the following year and any children that lived there would rightfully get bullied at school.  Apples are heavy.  They also take up way too much space in the candy bag and should be thrown away as soon as possible.  I can get apples at home, give me candy you cheap do goodin bastards!!

 

Such great memories.

Happy Halloween

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